10 things one should do to prevent rape

Still in the month of creating awareness on gender based violence. I shall be discussing the 10 things one should do to prevent sexual abuse.

Incase you missed out on the last post where I discussed the myths about rape, you can check it out via the link

So here we go...

1. Do not abuse others: Everybody has that responsibility to not abuse others. It is wrong and punishable under the law.

2. Seek Consent: Before engaging in any sexual activity, seek consent. At all times, seek consent. Both parties must agree.

3. Be vigilant: Do not assume that people will protect you. Rape is committed mostly by familiar faces so always look out for dangerous situations.

4. Do not take advantage of someone's vulnerability: Whether the person is drunk, asleep, ignorant or naive, do not use that opportunity to abuse the person.

5. Discuss rules and sexual limits before going on a date: Ensure that you communicate thes…

10 Myths about Rape - Men don't get raped

What are myths?
These are widely held beliefs that are false but have overtime come to be accepted as the truth.

Here are our 10 myths on rape

1. Myth: Men don't get raped.
Fact: Wrong! In the majority of rape cases, the male is the offender and the female is the victim. However, men and boys are raped too. Men can be raped by other men; and women can also coerce or pressure men or boys into performing sexual acts that they do not desire. 

2. Myth: Girls who get raped are promiscuous or asked for it.
Fact: Wrong! Anybody can be raped

3. Myth: Looking attractive is an invitation to rape.
Fact: No! Attracting attention is not an invitation to rape. 

4. Myth: Girls are raped because of what they wear.
Fact: False! People can be raped even when they are modestly dressed. A person who rapes does not respect any boundaries, taking what he or she wants no matter what the victim is wearing.

5. Myth: Women usually say 'No' when they mean 'Yes'
Fact: Wrong! Nobody wants to be ph…

Breaking News: She was raped!

Yes, she was raped!

She atttended a birthday party to celebrate her friend but instead she woke up with a nagging headache and a blurry idea of what happened at night. No idea how she landed on the bed but one thing was clear, she was drugged and raped.

Yes, she was raped!

She was loved by her aunt and the kids. They gave her a home to lay her head and food to eat. But she was betrayed by the one person meant to protect her, he was supposed to be a father figure but ended up been a monster figure sexually abusing her as soon as her aunt was out of sight with threats never to tell.

Yes, she was raped!

She loved her boyfriend and could do anything for him or so she thought. Was he understanding, yes, caring, yes and you could go on and on. But could she ever think that he would beat and rape her, No she didn't but this became her reality. And now love is but a thing of the past.

Yes, she was raped!

Did she ask for it, No! Did it happen, Yes! But how, I wonder. A good Christian church g…

Date Rape: 5 things you should know and do

Welcome to the month of November friends and this month is all about the #16daysofactivism against gender based violence and so all my posts for the month are going to be talking about the different forms of gender based violence.

Before we talk about date rape which is our focus for this week, we need to have an understanding of rape.

What is Rape?
Rape is forced or unwanted sexual intercourse. It is sex you don't agree to including forcing an object or penis into the vagina, anus or mouth. Rape can be perpetrated by anybody.

Now to our topic of discussion.

What is Date Rape?
Unlike what is most believed that rape can't occur in a relationships, I am sorry to disagree that rape happens in relationships. The Beureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) reports that 6 in 10 rape or sexual assault victims said they were assaulted by an intimate partner, relative, friend or acquaintance.

Date rape is also referred to as acquaintance rape. It involves rape where there has been some sort of …

How do I say No to Sex?

This question is one that gives a lot of us headache (sighs). A lot of us look for ways to avoid or dodge the question and we come up with different excuses or better still lies.

While in the university, I had a very handsome and intelligent boyfriend that I admired a lot but of course I was not interested in the sex matter. So if he dared bring it up, I would just say I am menstruating, having headache, down with malaria, or just avoid the question all together by changing the topic.

But the interesting thing is both males and females still find it difficult to say No to sexual related issues and we end up getting guilt tripped into saying Yes and regretting later.

These issues vary. It could be saying No to sex, saying No to a relationship, No to taking alcohol or abusing drugs.

Yes, It is hard. You standing in front of the guy or lady who makes you happy and have butterflies in your belly. I mean how can one say No. Infact, sometimes we just freeze. All the ginger dissapears.

But …

5 stop signs or obstacles to success to watch out for

I set goals and I hardly achieve them. I am sick and tired of feeling like a disappointment. It seems as though my "village people" are on my matter to ensure I don't succeed.

Do you ever feel like this? Do you feel like you are a loser and can't achieve anything? Setting goals and not achieving them can be very demoralizing. 
Last week, I talked about what makes one's goals stand out which is found on this link smart-goals Today, I will be talking about some of the obstacles to avoid when setting goals. 
1. Falling short of resources: A lot of times, we just think that setting a goal is all it takes to achieve it but we forget that one needs the required resources to achieve that goal. You can't attain an education by just setting a goal or neither can you acquire a new job by just setting goals. You would need resources both in cash and kind. So you need to ensure that you also put that in plan when setting your goals. You could think of getting a part tim…

S.M.A.R.T Goals

Last week, I spoke about the 6-steps-to-building-ones-self-esteem and I talked about the importance of setting a goal and how achieving a goal like I did by becoming an Accountant helped me boost my self esteem. Today, I shall be talking about this thing everyone refers to as "S.M.A.R.T Goals". Not to worry, I won't bore you with plenty story so let's move straight to the point. 
What is a goal? A goal is something that you want to achieve. It is a target or ambition towards which you can direct your efforts. It could be career goals, relationship goals, or even family goals.
Why should we even have goals? 1. It guides you when making decisions. 2. It helps you "keep your eye on the ball" and focus on what's most important. 3. It enhances your self esteem and confidence. 4. It helps you measure your progress. 5. It gives you fulfilment
Type of Goals Short-term goals: These are goals that you aim to achieve within days, weeks or few months. E.g pass a mid-t…